The state of the band address, 2009:
Hot Dogs in the Snow, Rob cuts hair, band votes to impeach.
dateline, chicago, 31 jan 2009
On the Exterior, the first annual Squirrel Appreciation Day hosted by members of Labrador Dali, went off without a hitch. A small congregation gathered and drank and mingled, and at the appropriate hour they all marched single-file outside for the ceremonial throwing of hot dogs into the snow.
As a good dozen or twenty onlookers looked on, a kazoo was tortured and uncooked sausages were lobbed into the air, only to fall back and penetrate the fresh snow, as accorded by second verse of 'The Trudge', and also in hopes that on Groundhogs day, the groundhog will come out of hiding and find the hot dogs and forget altogether which way his damn shadow is facing.
Behind the scenes, though, things were not as prosaic as they seemed. Singer/ song-writer Robert Emmett showed up to the event with a freshly shaved head. It is unclear at this time whether it was intentionally shaved, or whether it was a mishap with a microwave oven or something to that extent.
One thing was clear though, popular to contrary opinion, short-hairs cant rock.
Led by Lem Roby (lead guitar, long-hair), along with classical guitarist and local miscreant Marcus Dunleavy (long-hair) the band passed a unanimous 'no confidence' vote over a few pitchers of something cheap and off- yellow. Puce, i think they call it.
The band and their rogue legal team are now examining the wording and fine print of the Band Charter to see if it is possible to fire Rob without forcing everyone else to quit.
The cutting of Robs hair drastically affects the bands long-hair ratio, leaving it presently at 3/5. Besides Roby, Marke Lester (drums) and Ruby Harris (violin) are the remaining long-hairs of the group, although some have accused Ruby of wearing a wig.
Rob is quoted as mumbling something about damn hippies, and Gus Kenneth (bass player, short-hair) said he is 'happy about the new hair, maybe now Rob will play his strat more punk!'.
Further developments on this story will be posted the nano-second they become available...
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